Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Olympics III

Only because I need to close this topic down, something the mainstream press seem unable to do.

So the sport was ok, I don't usually watch sport so I have no frame of reference, going by the noises being made by commentators (excluding Claire Balding who decided to call it as she saw it) you could tell how well or shit things were going. You know you're truly not interested in a country's sporting success when your willing them to lose quite badly just so you can see the look on the commentator's face.

The medal situation was good, I'm told. Team GB won a great many medals, this must have been the first Olympic games where medals were split down English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish lines, medals were even being turned into fractions for political purposes. Its hard to give a shit about that when you don't give a shit about how the medal was gained in the first place.

The closing ceremony, well, I didn't see it all but what I did see was ok I suppose. If you're going to put George Michael on stage at such a prestigious event he absolutely has to sing his number one hit 'Outside'. Why? because its about coming out and being a bit dirty with other men. Lyrics include:

"And yes I've been bad
Doctor won't you do with me what you can
You see i think about it all the time
I'd service the community
(but i already have you see!)
I never really said it before"

I don't think the services to which George refers are anything like those to which Seb Coe would, although he is a Tory so you never know. Other lyrics include:

"I think I'm done with the sofa
I think I'm done with the hall
I think I'm done with the kitchen table, baby"


"When the moon is high
And the grass is jumpin'
Come on, just keep on funkin'
Keep on funkin', just keep on funkin'"

I think this could have been a valuable message for the Olympic crowd, when you're servicing the community on the sofa, in the hall and on the kitchen table, its important to keep on funkin' baby but mind and get to the GUM clinic to get checked out for STD's when you're done.

Eric Idle came out, so to speak. He was quite funny, bonus points for swearing during Always Look on the Bright Side, it is my sincerest hope they told him not to and he ignored them. The Spice Girls also reared their heads, I don't really know what to say about the Spice Girls, I don't know what they're for or what they did, their music was a bit shit and I never got what ever their message was. Isn't it ironic that they took five neutral women who may have had something to say and turned them into daft vapid clotheshorses then told them to promote (sorry, cash in on) Girl Power? Because as we all know, if you want to be taken seriously, all you have to do is wear glittery spandex, sing poorly (with the exception of Mel C who's ok) and put your make up on with a ping pong bat. I can say with feeling, it hasn't worked for me.

I recognised Annie Lennox and I did recognise some of the songs but not the people singing them. Some wrappers, sorry, rappers were also on in posh cars, some fragrant young lady sang with, oh someone I didn't know. It occurs to me, you could assault me viciously with Taio Cruze, Jessie J and Emile Sande and I wouldn't know the difference, if on the other hand you were to assault me with entrants from the men's ten metre dive, I reckon I could probably nail- I mean name each one... Not that I watched it of course, I mean to say, I'm thoroughly against all this stuff.

And so it drew to a close, the Olympic flame was snuffed out but the land is still suffused with sporting fervour, so much so that the UK government recently transferred over 2000 English schools to private ownership under their Academies Scheme, this included all buildings, sports and playing fields. It also takes those sports and playing fields out from under the protection of the School Playing Fields Advisory Panel. Of course, it goes with out saying Westminster would never sanction the sale of playing fields, especially since those private companies are ran by their own colleagues... Did you not know?

Two of the biggest players in this game are the Harris Federation, named after owner Phil Harris who is a Tory peer, and a set up called ARK Academies, on who's board sits Paul Marshall, prominent author of the Lib Dem's Orange Book (no, I don't know what its about, I'm sure its a pithy tome, ha ha, ummm.) and current Tory party treasurer Stanley Fink who also donated £2.6 million to the conservatives. I mean come on now, that's just taking the piss, fortunately education is devolved so Scottish schools are protected, for now. (You know what I'm hinting at here, oh yes you do. Something you need to do in 2014?)

I always run on with these and I hate to bore my reader, so I'll finish by borrowing back part of a comment I made on this blog.

"I’m just glad its over, not wishing to provide any one with horrid mental imagery, but for the past 17 days (feels like months) what we’ve seen is the British state (call it what you will) basically having sex with itself, for the next few weeks it will sit smoking a fag telling itself how wonderful it was until eventually, it’ll have to start replying to those emails its been getting for cheap Viagra and penis enlargements because, contrary to its own hype; even sex with itself was a bit crap."

Quoting myself probably makes me out to be a right wanker, I don't really care though because its quite true, I can't seem to leave myself alone.

Especially during the men's 10 metre platfo-


  1. I'm happy to say I saw not one tiny little bit of the Olympics.

    I would have been happy to watch some of it but for the fact that the way that Cameron and Coe (ha ha) used it, it became all about being British, and to criticise it became almost as unthinkable as criticising the military, or suggesting that that Swedish woman that claims she was raped by Assange isn't a bit of a tart (as is he, let's be fair), not to mention a lying cow.

    Also, it was about making money, not about sport.

    So I missed it all. And I didn't read about it in the papers, because once again the way they dribbled over our brave athletes was utterly sickening. You could imagine them moaning with sexual pleasure as they wrote. And I could make that out from the headlines!

    I mean for god's sake, if you want to do sport and your parents can afford to let you spend half your life in swimming baths or on your pony or shooting or rowing or cycling or whatever it is, great. No one forces you to do it like in China or North Korea. It's your choice.

    You win medals, you make a pot of money selling your book or advertising Corn Flakes or whatever and you get a bloody title, or if you are Seb Coe, and a Tory, you get a shed load of them.

    But you're not a bloody god.

    So I know shit about it, and I care less.

    And rather than sit through an opening ceremony which painted England (and probably seconds and seconds of Scotland, Wales, and NI) like some Christmas card with sodding glitter on it, or a closing ceremony with a set of dreary acts like the list I saw, I'd just as soon stay home and chew my foot off. I mean the bloody Spice Girls. They were even crap when they were young!

    So, there you have it, someone who was even less interested than you were...

    That said, I'm very glad that everyone had a good time. if Cameron is stupid enough to think that the afterglow will last any longer than a few months, he's even stupider than I have him down as. And that's some f*****g stupid.

  2. I think the after glow is already fading, it shows just how crap the current westminster coalition are that they can erode what should have produced a powerful feel-good factor so quickly.


Thanks for comment as always and I apologise if you have to jump through any hoops to do so. Its just that, I'm still being spammed by organisations who are certain I can't get it up or when it is up its not big enough or that I don't have anyone to get it up for.

Who knew blogging could be so bad for ones self-confidence?