Monday, 25 November 2013

I'm still here...

You would think, given all the doom laden think tank out-pourings that have taken place, I might have just given up.* Has there been any think tank report saying Scotland gaining independence would be a good thing? Any at all?

The most recent report from the IFS is a case in point but was flawed from the outset, presumably you need to be moderately clever to be in a think tank and to be fair, it was mostly the media misrepresenting, misreporting and leaving huge swathes out in favour of the status quo.

We also have the on-going Scotland Analysis series coming from Westminster just in case the think tanks run out of negative things to say. Recently, in order to save money, instead of these costly and time consuming analysis reports being produced, the UK Government will be sending out who ever happens to be the current Secretary of State 'for' Scotland to shake his head in faux regret at the assembled press corps.

Alistair Carmichael: "Look, its just a shit idea. We don't need reports and analysis for that do we?"

Turns out, the biggest effect the IFS report has had is that there are now people who fear an actual black hole will appear if Scotland votes yes. Seriously, visit Google (other search engines are available) and enter 'Scottish Independence, black hole' and see what you get - its comical.

"Don't worry, Maximillian will be gone soon. The carbon-based bipedal life form known as Carmichael will need replaced at some point."
The Scotland Institute report on defence in an independent Scotland, (written by people who made their careers and nurtured considerable power in a British Armed Forces - so weren't likely to say a Scottish one would be peachy.) The arse gravy coming from Ian Davidson's Scottish Affairs Committee, you know what to expect when they're all prefixed with the words - "The Referendum on Separation for Scotland."

1. Unanswered Questions
2. Do you agree this is a biased question? (Ironic no?)
3. Making the process legal
4. A multi-option Question?
5. Terminating Trident: Days or Decades? (Pithy alliteration.)
6. The proposed section 30 order - can a player also be the referee
7. Separation shuts shipyards. (c/w a government response.)
8. How would separation affect defence jobs in Scotland

The reports are all available via the 'arse gravy' link in the previous paragraph, I am unashamed to say I haven't read any of them. Life is too short so I just imagined various unionist politicians shaking their heads and tutting at me, I think you'll find the effect is the same.

It goes without saying, the Scottish Government's white paper on independence will be released tomorrow (Tuesday the 26th of November) and where all these think tank reports and Scottish Analysis' will be taken as fact and reported as such by the media -  the White Paper will be derided as fiction.

I imagine most opinion pieces about the White Paper will be written already, Better Together will attempt to bog down useful debate with its usual shrill cries of 'not enough detail', 'pie in the sky' or the classic 'where are the answers!?!' (On the internet you terrible bunch of halfwits.) Alistair Carmichael will bumble his way through several interviews like a demented Granddad while Alistair Darling's eye brows breakdance across his forehead under cross examination.

What we'll get is a calm, reasonable document from the Scottish Government then a fever-pitched response from its detractors - much of which - scripted well in advance. The White Paper will do nothing to alleviate Better Together's odd collective 'but where are the answers' selective amnesia, they'll set upon it like a pack of starved dogs round a week old pork chop - once they've chewed over it, they'll vomit out the usual dull voxpops & vapid soundbites about 'Salmond and his ego' or 'unanswered questions' or 'plan b's'. In fact they'll do everything except tackle the White Paper and its contents - why? 

Because they've got nothing but more of the same vacuous promises & meaningless statements made by politicians & scions of the British state who's own best interests trump ours every day of their self serving lives.

Self-interest? Don't be daft, its for our own good.

* I'm currently working in Aberdeen, hence the break, not that any one noticed right enough. (Great city Aberdeen, I really like it so I do.)


  1. Well, I noticed.

    I was interested to see the story of the thieving corruption of the one time Cabinet Secretary for Finance (UK).

    I was wondering if Dom Grieve knew about Darling, when he said that all Pakistanis are corrupt. Did he think that these eyebrows indicated a bit of foreign blood.

    Anyway, good post as usual.

    I see that that dick secretary of state for the UK Alistair (I'm better than Moore) Carmichael made a twat of himself on the Marr show.

    We have power with the UK, clout. We're on the security council; we are in Nato, we are in the EU and we wouldn't have been able to rejoice at Mo Farrow in the Olympics (not that I even noticed).

    What a complete plank.

    At least Moore was relatively likeable whilst being pretty crap at his job. Carmichael is decidedly creepy.

    He needs to talk about Daleks ... I'm amazed he hasn't yet.

  2. When they described Carmichael as some sort of attack dog versus Moore's more cerebral approach - I think they were taking the piss out of Carmichael - He's about as threatening as jelly.

    He's almost cartoon-like, he's like slimer from Ghost Busters, chasing yes voters about the place going woohooo!

  3. Pa

    I just don't really care about the Bitter Together mob anymore, they are a bit like piles, annoy you know and again but a wee bit of independence minded ointment and sorted for a while.

    Carmichael is a plank, the not so idependent IFS Report was shocking in how bad it actually was. I am no expert in anything but surely think tanks can come up with some really hard data when people like me can ask the obvious questions.

    This morning I was following twitter and it was so funny reading the Unionists panicking, they are so used to spreading the fear that they were actually doing follow throughs this morning in the old undies. Very funny when the shoe is on the other foot.

    A momentous day, even if the answer turns out to be no listening and watching the fear bombers this morning was funny, they are so afraid of losing, well I don't what really but they fear losing things that actually don't matter to them on the ground only the wealthy and the establishment, I guess that is the really sad thing. They are all brainwashed to curtsy and bow.

    Aberdeen is too bloody cold and if you believe Naughty on the radio full of unionists, he might have got confused with union street though, he is also a plank.


  4. I sense a theme in your comment Bruce, that being - they're all planks.

    Can't argue with that, they're certainly unbending in their support for the status quo.

    It has been a good day, I've only really had twitter to go by and its been a-buzz with positive commentary.

    I did tweet something along the lines of not just judging the white paper on its content, but also by the unionist reaction to it. In that regard, its doing its job really rather well.


Thanks for comment as always and I apologise if you have to jump through any hoops to do so. Its just that, I'm still being spammed by organisations who are certain I can't get it up or when it is up its not big enough or that I don't have anyone to get it up for.

Who knew blogging could be so bad for ones self-confidence?