Tuesday, 28 October 2014

The Fall Out.

Which as a title is correct on more than one level. Johann Lamont has resigned and it turned out to be the most useful thing she did during her leadership - her reasons? She was sick of Scottish Labour being treated as a 'branch office' of UK Labour - about which she seemed to be the last to know. Still, at least Scottish Labour's true nature is being talked about in the Scottish press. 

Although we didn't hear much from the leader of Labour in Scotland during the referendum campaign - a surprising thing given she was, ummm, the leader of Labour in Scotland. We can assume she supported a no vote which pretty much underpinned and guaranteed the very thing she cited as the cause of her falling on her - lets not use the word sword, it implies there might be something sharp about Scottish Labour when there isn't - lets say she fell on her banana (who's skin she would have slipped on anyway.)

In the meantime Labour 'Faces' in Scotland have been tripping over themselves to turn down the job. One after the other, Labour MSP's are defying their programming and ruling themselves out of the race - I say race, its more of a desperate escape - from the top job in Scotland.

Even the 'bright young' Kezia Dugdale has ruled it out, its a shame she can't apply whatever cognitive ability she applied to that decision to some of the arse gravy she's uttered over the past few months. Anas Sarwar, whom the Daily Record, ever-connected to the zeitgeist, describes as super-bright and most others describe as super-irritating has said no thanks - he's already the deputy leader in Scotland but as an MP can't debate at Holyrood (or anywhere else if we're being honest.)

Sarwar's badge.
Realistically, given Johann Lamont's parting words - that Scottish Labour is treated as a branch office - it would be stupid to elect a Westminster MP as leader, which mean its probably what they'll do. That brings into the picture people like Douglas Alexander (he's the wide-eyed wee boy who'll say anything on TV) or Gordon Brown (who we simply cannot have because he's an international statesman imbued with far to much gravitas for such a menial role.) Then there's Jim Murphy (the Iraq War apologist/Trident fan boy corpse who toured the country on an empty crate) or we're back to Anas Sarwar (who the Daily Record thinks is super-bright, which is probably true in the context of the Daily Record.)

The Daily Record: Not just any old bog roll...
The reality is a wee bit different, no one wants the job. Its got to the point where Scottish towns and villages are unilaterally ruling themselves out of standing for the Leadership of Scottish Labour, I've already said as much via twitter and I urge you to do the same just in case - if you don't have an account, put a note in your sitting room window. The Scottish Labour leadership race has turned into a game of pass the parcel - some poor bugger is going to be left holding a turd lovingly swathed in bright blue wrapping paper they'll have no choice but to open.

To finish; who ever gets the job, it'll need to be someone who'll keep their seat. As Scottish voters continue to discover its not just being a Tory that is unpopular in Scotland, its being from a Westminster party. In the aftermath of the referendum campaign, 'Scottish' Labour has proven itself to be Westminster orientated to the core and its showing in the polls.

Toward the end of last week's BBC Question Time in Liverpool, the politically vacuous Caroline Flint (Lab) in reference to the referendum said to Alex Salmond: 'you lost, you lost, you lost!'. With Cameron hijacking the Scottish Devolution process for EVEL (English Votes for English Laws) and Labour now so transparently trying to protect its power-base in Westminster at the cost of devo promises made by Brown in the days before the 18th of September - during purdah no less...

The Yes Campaign may have lost, but Labour definitely did not win.

Thursday, 23 October 2014

The petition band wagon.

I'm now on it like a car bonnet - as youngsters these days like to put it.

I know there are petitions for everything these days, I'm rather hoping someone will set up a petition to counter my petition which I've set up to counter a petition that was pinched by the po-faced Gordon Brown and the gadgie-in-print that is The Daily Record.

Look at that face... Just look at it...
Perhaps some one will set up a petition to stop people setting up petitions - or more usefully to keep Gordon Brown's face out of the news. Normally you don't see the miserable git from one month to the next, but since Labour are facing double decimation or more in Scotland and a pretty serious assault on their power at Westminster - its not hard to understand why Brown and others are squealing like pigs with their heads stuck in the doors leading away from the corridors of power.

My own very special unique petition can be found here. Since I can't confirm if signatories signed the original 38 Degrees petition; if any readers plain can't remember, you can sign this one anyway - which should garner, oh I don't know, three or four additional paw prints?

Otherwise share it (several times on twitter if you can) far and wide. When a gazillion people have signed, we'll descend upon the offices of Gordon Brown and The Daily Record (I'm told they're one and the same) like a pack of starved Chihuahuas round a freshly cooked chicken drumstick.

We're coming for you Gordon.

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Westminster mindset.

If you're in any doubt about the attitude Westminster has toward its electorate, you need look no further than this fine example.

I think this makes it alright for me to say Norman Tebbit is a bit of a dick.

Short one today, that is all.

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

In Thurso

That's it, there's no other way to put it - it is what it is.

Even here though, with limited access to internet since Saturday morning, the already lack lustre effort from unionist parties, the total lack of enthusiasm for their Vow and the inevitable fall into the morass that is Westminster party politics. Why any one in Scotland thought this wouldn't happen is difficult to understand.

Gordon Brown was in parliament today... Hold on one moment while I say that again. Gordon Brown was in parliament today, this time though, instead of saving the union he's trying to save Labour from being irrelevant in England as well as Scotland. David Cameron must be laughing up his well tailored sleeve - Labour save the union but lose all those votes on English only issues at Westminster? With any luck Labour will become as big a laughing stock in the rest of the UK as they are in Scotland.

The bumbling arse also accused Cameron of 'betraying Scots'. You read that right, the man who was instrumental in, erm, betraying Scots (you'll recall The Vow) is accusing the same Tory into whose grasp he delivered us of, eh, betraying the Scots. Turns out the referendum aftermath is a looking glass thicker than any that came before. I'd like to say we're through it now, but something tells me there's more to come. Its a ridiculous state of affairs, Scottish Labour MP's are pretty much irrelevant anyway - at least as far as real Scottish interests are concerned. The only group of people who benefit from Scottish Labour MP's at Westminster are Scottish Labour MP's. 

All of that set against a back drop that is Jeremy Hunt promising to save us all from the Ebola outbreak, you've got to accept things are not looking good. Putting Jeremy Hunt between your kids and a killer virus is a bit like putting a sheet of damp bog roll between them and a pyroclastic flow. Its not that pyroclastic flows are powerful as such, its just that damp bog roll isn't a great barrier against anything - and neither is Jeremy Hunt.

Yet here we are, after a No vote.

There are still a great many Yes posters, stickers and billboards up here on the North coast, it certainly hasn't gone away. We've camped at Gairlochy on Saturday night and South Laggan on Sunday (in the Great Glen,) stayed in microcabins at the Loch Ness Holiday Park near Invermoriston on Monday (didn't see the monster) and as I've said, I'm now in Thurso (via John 0' Groats) pecking away on a netbook while eight teenagers play a card game called 'Shit-head'. Despite this rustic existence, news of today's debate filtered through, hearing William Hague (for example) opine about Scottish Devolution when we know he doesn't give a shit is - how should I put this - enervating?

One wonders if we'll finally be through the looking glass when Labour and to a lesser extent the Lib Dems, having saved the union but lost all their Scottish MP's votes on policies deigned to be 'English-Only' - a bit like being left with all the cards the Tories discarded - if after next year's Westminster elections, UKIP and the Conservatives spend the following parliament shouting SHIT-HEAD at the opposition benches?

It wouldn't surprise me.