The Great Glen Way Pt 3

The walk between Laggan and Fort Augustus is a pleasant one, it’s completely flat following as it does the canal for a spell then the banks of Loch Oich then a bit more canal into Fort Augustus, the total distance is about ten miles.

I and another leader had driven on to find a camp site for the third night (opting to be indoors later in the week due to colder weather being forecast.) We managed to find a wild campsite about a mile and half beyond Fort Augustus, no picnic table or ducks but enough flat ground to pitch tents and an old fire circle, we weren’t the first to camp here it seemed. The ground was soft and mossy, although if it rained we’d probably all end up needing a life boat but there wasn’t much choice, it did turn out to be a decent camp site, if a little noise due to forestry trucks thundering by 15 metres away on the forestry road.

The days walk however was good, I walked this section last year from Fort Augustus to Laggan and found it to be very nice indeed, the canal tow path was still quite novel coming from Inverness (you don’t use any canal tow path between the outskirts of Inverness and Fort Augustus.) If you’re walking from Fort William though, it gets a bit boring. With that in mind we decided to chance our arm a little, we met up with the rest of the group just past Kytra Lock about two miles West of Fort Augustus and had some lunch. While sitting there we were joined by the Fingal of Caledonia, the 39 metre 190 ton barge-cum-hotel (and one of the other purveyors of booze on the canal if you happened to be a paying customer.)

I suppose it was actually bad timing, although not for us. Davey, the barge skipper seemed friendly and possibly amiable enough to let us onboard for a wee boat trip along the last two miles to Fort Augustus. I sent up one of our more attractive members to enquire but he wasn’t assertive enough, this is the problem with the youth of today, so easily fobbed off. Not so with me however, not being overly concerned with walking every inch of the Great Glen Way, I begged & simpered for us to be let aboard, I said it would add to our experience and in any case, we’re scouts… After securing agreement from the guy who was leading the coast-to-coasters, who’d just arrived, Davey invited us all aboard. I think this is where the timing was an issue, as we climbed aboard (Michael, one of the leader team fairly threw himself aboard landing on his face) the people who were actually paying to have the boat shadow them along the route got a bit voluble about this new arrangement, I don’t really blame them, basically there they were walking while we pinched their (probably quite expensive) ride.

We were told not to go downstairs into the body of the boat which seemed fair enough, the sun was out so the conditions were perfect for a short cruise on deck. Davey invited us into the wheel house and allowed me to take the wheel which was as interesting as it was disconcerting. He said not even the paying customers got to do this, I know some folk buy fast cars to make up for other imagined (or real) short comings, what you really want is a 100mtr barge and a slender canal in which to insert it. We didn’t crash and Davey said my skills were not inconsiderable, even although we were only doing about 5mph, you’d have to be spectacularly slow witted to crash, not even I fill that criteria. That said, with no way of knowing if the wheel was centred it took constant concentration and small corrections to keep the boat in the middle of the canal.

It’s for this type of thing we do these daft walking trips, last year on the West highland Way, we hired two random guys who were sitting the Rowerdennan Hotel bar (who may have been slightly inebriated) to transport some of us down Loch Lomond to Inversnaid. They claimed to have boats, what we got was a tiny wee speed boat; you could have had a moderately spacious bath in it. They crammed bags and bodies on board (I forget who all went on the boat) I sent my pal Sheridan with them because I know he’s a strong swimmer and could take the blame if things went wrong, (I’m joking, I take these things very seriously indeed, your honour…) We watched as this tiny overloaded craft nosed its way out onto Loch Lomond and wondered if we’d ever see them alive again, we did of course, after the other guy had to go out in his considerably larger speed boat to rescue the bathtub because it ran out of fuel.

Anyway the point I’m trying to make (with out incriminating myself on grounds of negligence) is that we like to mix things up a wee bit, it’s more about the journey than some purist walking experience. With that in mind, we can’t thank Davey and the Fingal Cruise crowd enough for giving us a new experience and added quirk to our week.

So it was that we hove to (oh the nautical banter) at Fort Augustus with the eminently more capable Davey at the wheel, we said our good byes, although we bumped into each other several times over the next few days, and wandered into FA to get some fish and chips.

FA is handy; it’s about bang in the middle distance wise and a good place to resupply if you’re walking unaided. We reloaded our water supply and bought food as required for the next couple of days. We’d been living on a mixture of boil in the bag and dried foods (the dreaded pot or super noodle options.) If you are walking unaided or with a youth group as we were, its important to know that there are no shops between Neptune’s Ladder (4 miles in) and FA (34 miles in,) there is the floating pub at Laggan which is fine for beer and a burger (and not overly expensive either) but if you are cooking your own, you need to carry it in from the start point. Like us, if you have no shame, you can just leave your young charges outside in the cold while you sit inside and push food and beer into your face as we did, (and horrible it was too…)

There are hotels, B&B’s and plenty pubs to choose from, the chip shop is good as well, everything is cooked from fresh, the wait is well worth it and if your order is big enough, he won’t charge for the sauce sachets, (it’s the little things.)

If you elected to purchase a key to the canal toilets, they are at the top of the lock complex outside of town, there is no campsite here though, I can understand the local hostelries and B&B’s would prefer walkers were directed to their establishments, but it would be helpful if they were actually open. Last year I stayed in a B&B called the Abbey, ran by a gay couple (there’s a sitcom in there somewhere.) In the morning I had a Dutch Bouncer for breakfast which was nice, and then I had some thing to eat. I’m joking, the Dutch Bouncer was my breakfast, no really, it’s a Dutch thing obviously, not a brawny nightclub doorman from the Netherlands on his holidays. (I don’t think there was any brawny Dutchmen there at all, there were some brawny looking shinty players in the pub the night before right enough, but they weren’t on the breakfast menu at the B&B.)

I digress, basically this is (or was) a dish served at chucking out time in Dutch pubs and nightclubs, essentially a couple of slices of white bread with a slice of ham and cheese toped with fried eggs. I have to say, this is much more agreeable way to be informed of the impending closure of the pub or club you’re awarding your custom to rather than being told by a thick-necked twat in a puffa jacket to fuck off.

Alas, no Bouncers this time round, we were camping out this evening. I took my car and the gear to the campsite we’d found while the others walked the short distance from FA, I was going to have a wee nap in the car but decided to put their tents up instead on account of them being a bit wet from the previous night. The site we’d found was just off the A82, there is a forestry car park with an unpronounceable Gaelic name (Allt Na Criche) through which the Great Glen Way passes, the site we found was about a quarter of mile further on. While exploring earlier in the day we got caught by a forestry worker, sometimes they don’t like folk driving their cars on forestry roads and there are signs posted saying not to, although I tend to ignore them. I drive a green four wheel drive (now with a bloody great big dent in the side) which looks like a forestry vehicle anyway; I managed to blag my way past him by behaving as if I belonged there. He gave us some directions to a forestry office so we could ask about camp sites but we didn’t bother, sometimes asking elicits a no.

Go to Pt 4

The Great Glen Way Pt 2

The following morning was ushered in by much quacking and other duck related activity. I don't know much about ducks or even what kind of ducks these were, but they were friendly and not at all bothered about being picked up, (a handy thing if you neglected to go to the shops before starting the walk.) As I lay in my new sleeping bag I could hear them waddling only inches away on the other side of the nylon, making pleasing little sooking noises as they did what ever ducks do in the morning. On rising, which is to say, crawling in a distinctly ungraceful manner out of my tent, the ducks had all gone. As soon as we started breakfast though, the noisy little freeloaders returned. Until that morning, I'd never been bitten by a duck, it was just as you'd expect, more amusing than sore. We gave them all we could, we even persuaded Craig (one of the young team) to lay down while we flicked bits of a left over roll at him, this he did willingly. The ducks clamoured over him pecking and jabbing with beaks, it was highly amusing, especially when a well aimed bit of roll landed on his crotch. While I wouldn't recommend doing this with, say; a swan, the ducks hardly troubled his ability to make more little Craig’s.

Our plan for the day was to walk from Gairlochy to Laggan Locks, a distance of 11 miles or so, this section wends its way round the southern shores of Loch Lochy passing an oddity known as The Fairy Glen. I visited this place last year with a friend; we both found it to be really very creepy, others invariably thought it was all rather sweet. Basically it’s a stuffed animal graveyard, in my eyes anyway. To others it’s a magical fairy land of mystical toys and magical tableaus, people passing through have added their own little touches. A tree has hanging from it several small smurfs, down by the water's edge a large doll (the kind you just couldn't sleep in the same room with) sits on a chair looking out over the loch. Meanwhile, over by, a huge teddy bear sits miserably drooping with moisture, one leg torn off while other bedraggled and abandoned toys look on with disdain. There are other things to look at, a tree with lots of kids shoes hanging from it, the visitor book (the twelfth) had mostly positive messages within which confused me, eventually a did see a note scrawled by young lad called Shaun, it said; 'this place is way creepy.' At least I'm not alone, if you're ever in the area, you should have a look, I'd be interested to know what you thought. (It’s on the road out of Gairlochy sign posted for the village of Clunes, about a mile and half after Gairlochy itself. Don't go in the dark.)

Onwards from the Creepy Glen the route takes you through the hamlet of Clunes (a row of houses) past the Clan Cameron museum. It follows forestry roads above the shores of Loch Lochy eventually descending toward Laggan Locks. About a mile before it does, there is an official wild camp site, if you're looking to do a short overnight hike, this would be ideal, the loch side location is very pleasant indeed, plenty space for camp fires and tents, we sat for a while and skimmed stones for a while more. There is no water supply here and the loch water is not safe due to a blue green algae bloom. It’s ideal for younger groups, a moderately challenging walk from Gairlochy (taking in the Fairy Glen) then a night camping in the woods, if your kids aren't disturbed already, they should be after that.

Laggan Lock sits on the main road between Fort William and Inverness so it’s a bit noisy, there are no ducks to entertain and crucially for us, no fire pit. Fortunately there is a pub on the canal at Laggan, which is to say, in the canal. The Eagle’s main boast is being the only floating pub on the Caledonian Canal, technically this is true although there are two other boats we know of (the Fingal and the Ros Crana) that also sell booze although only to those staying on board. It was very warm indoors and since I’d managed to drive my car over a massive boulder in the car park of where we were supposed to be staying the following night, I felt I needed a drink, and a burger, and another drink…

Later on when the young folk figured out where the leaders where and had plucked up the courage to come aboard (get me with the nautical terminology,) I have to say, they looked upon us with equal measures of reproach and general unhappiness. All I can say is this, the burger I had was horrid and the Scampi my fellow leaders had was of the poorest quality, while the young folk were outside in the cold preparing their dinner on the picnic table, we had this substandard faire forced upon us.

I’m not sure they bought that argument if I’m being honest. We had been sitting for quite some time watching the owner’s four year old daughter (an overly noisy child if I do say so) climbing around the bar and it hadn’t occurred to us that being under 18 years of age did not preclude lawful entry, so to speak.

That night was the coldest; with no fire pit it was impossible to keep warm. It didn’t seem to matter how much wine we drank (those of us of an age of course,) the beer jacket just never grew thick enough. Also, it had been a longer day so an early night was on the cards.

It was a damp night and because we couldn’t get the tent pegs properly into the ground, (to much rubble) our tents weren’t pitched well. Hike tents are finicky things, if you don’t pitch them just so; they leak. After we accept, generally they’re not practical for any long term living arrangement, for them to leak doesn’t add to their allure. And they don’t leak in an obvious way; the water seeps in. These tents slope away at the feet end, if the nylon isn’t tensioned just so, the inner tent tends to touch the outer fly sheet, (I know, bear with me and the camping terms.) As you sleep, the bottom of your sleeping bag pushes the inner material against the outer stuff and moisture slowly but inexorably begins to soak the bottom of your bag. Its even worse if you’re camping on a slope because unless you want to wake up with all the blood you possess in your head, you’ll elect to sleep with your feet pointing down hill, you invariably end up in an unhappy damp heap at the bottom of the tent.

I would challenge any one to say this is an acceptable arrangement. The alternative of course is to sleep in the canal toilet blocks but there are signs prohibiting this and to be honest, my reputation isn’t all that great to begin with, choosing to sleep in a toilet (even a warm one) I fear would erase the small sliver of integrity I have left.

Go to Pt 3

The Great Glen Way. Pt 1

(You can consider this a feature length blog post, recently a group of us walked the length of the Great Glen from Fort William to Inverness, what happened is chronicled below. The usual caveats apply, if you choose to read it, you won't get the time back. Thanks and good luck.)

The Great Glen Way.

In terms of things to do, if you had choose, it would be quite reasonable not to pick as an activity walking from Fort William to Inverness, especially in October with young people who don't have credit cards allowing them access to hotels, quaint little B&B's and other civilising perks of modern day living (like pubs and restaurants.) Never-the-less here we are, sitting in a Hobbit Microcabin over-looking Loch Ness. The fan heater is on, it’s now uncomfortably warm, since the cabin is barrel shaped and of wooden construction its a bit like sitting in a sauna.

There are nine of us, four adults and five youths aged 16 and 17. We started the walk four days ago and have so far covered forty of the seventy five mile route. I say we, I mean they, I've only walked about twenty, I've driven about one hundred and twenty miles looking for wild campsites and cheap indoor accommodation, in my defence, I walked it last year in April in driving snow, I didn't camp out mind, I was on my own or at least, accompanied by my credit card which allowed me access to hotels and quaint little B&B's, at least the ones that were open out of season. I did carry a tent but only for emergencies, camping is a loathsome activity especially in winter, hiking tents are also loathsome. For me, they're a bit like swimming pools, which is to say, there is no gainly way to get out of either thing, be it arse or head first, getting out of a hike tent after having gotten dressed lying down is, as they say, for dicks.

Getting in to a mild claustrophobic panic because you're unknowingly trying to thrust your legs into the sleeves of a jumper and getting no where, you can't stand up and if you roll onto your stomach you're pretty much doomed because there isn't enough space to spread your arms out to right yourself, it really is deeply unpleasant. It goes without saying, its either too cold or too busy to get dressed outside, my body is not for public consumption and frankly, my fragile ego wouldn't withstand the disapproving looks from other walkers, resplendent in their multi-zipped activity trousers, walking poles and technical backpacks, I find these people, full of vim and energy, deeply suspicious, if you want my opinion (and I know you don't,) I think they're using performance enhancing Kendal Mint Cake, when I'm out in the country, I look like shit, while they always look fresh and ready for anything, even when exiting their prissy little tents.

The Great Glen Way follows the route of the Caledonian Canal for the most part, it’s actually a pretty good walk to do, although I'd recommend cycling the canal tow path sections as they become a wee bit boring after a while on foot. You can also buy keys to the British Waterways toilet blocks situated at the various locks along the canal, I never knew these things existed or one could gain access, I thought you had to be a yachting type to qualify. You can get keys from the Lock Master's Office at Fort William (in Corpach) or at the Inverness end. These really are a hidden gem, drying facilities, hot showers in really very clean and crucially for us, warm buildings. One tip, they have an odd charging regime, the lady in the lock master's office asked how many of us were walking, I told her nine. She said, normally, I'd have to buy nine keys at £5 a pop but on this occasion she'd cap it at three, which was nice of her. So, if you're going to go and there are lots of you; tell a wee fib and save some money.

When it comes to walking, we're not purists, we don't set out to walk every inch of the route we've chosen, last year we did the West Highland Way, 98 miles from Milngavie to Fort William, on the second day we used a bus, two taxis and two speed boats. We set out to do it all on foot but it just didn't work out that way, these things are supposed to be a fun challenge, we did carry full kit for that walk and it proved to be to much for some of the smaller group members, as far as I'm concerned, its not fair to send folk home because their shoulders aren't as broad or legs not so sturdy, basically we made do, the challenge became slightly different but no less of a challenging; getting everyone to the finish line at roughly the same time. No one walked less than 80 miles (and half of that with full kit) as far as I can see, that’s pretty good going for a novice group.

And so it has been for the Great Glen Way, the young folk have been walking with day bags while the three drivers have been darting hither and thither in cars filled with rucksacks and food. I won't even try to explain what we've done and will be doing with cars, I find it hard to understand myself, we've been trying to plan ahead, leaving vehicles where we can then walking back to meet the walkers.

Our first night was spent at Gairlochy on a British Waterways campsite, and I have to say, even although it was wet and cold, it was a lovely campsite. With a fire pit and picnic table plus extremely tame ducks for entertainment; all we needed for a pleasant time was some warmth. We tried to light a fire, I say we, I mean me and failed miserably, the wood was wet and we had no petrol. I know, I'm a scout leader type so should know how to light fires, I do; just not when the fuel is soaking wet, you don't think Bear Grills mucks about with wet wood do you? No, he goes to a hotel with his film crew. We had no hotel so basically huddled together round the picnic table for heat. This campsite as mentioned, had toilets, showers and drying facilities, we were far to proud to go and huddled round the tumble dryer and no one had a pound coin anyway, but it was handy to have it, even if it was about as far away as it could get and still remain in the canal lock area, a theme that was to repeat at the other British Waterway sites.

Go to Pt 2