Monday, 18 February 2013

Krispy kreme doughnut anyone?

A new Krispy Kreme Doughnut outlet has opened at Hermiston Gait on the outskirts of Edinburgh, there's clearly something special about these doughnuts because every night since it opened its doors, as I've driven past, customers waiting for a taste of doughnutty goodness have been tailed back on to the M8 causing obstruction on the Hermiston Gait roundabout.

On Friday night as I parked outside the gym I attend in the Gyle Business Park (my body is a temple, it takes up half the block,) I was stopped by a passing motorist looking for directions to Krispy Kreme, I can't lie, I was a bit miffed; do I look like I'd know where the doughnut shop is? (Yes Paul - you do.)

Anyway, the point is, I was reading over at Tris' place about Scottish meat standards and how there seems to be a race to the bottom in trying to supply the Scottish public with the cheapest meat suppliers can find. With every burger seeming to consist mostly of horse could it be, that in a fit of paranoia, the great Scottish public have decided to shun meat and replace it with Krispy Kreme doughnuts? (It should be noted, Scottish meat produce standards are of the highest quality with full trace-ability,  its the shite available in the supermarkets which is of questionable progeny.)

The only alternative is all those people sitting in the traffic queue by Hermiston Gait (sometimes without even getting any doughnuts because the shop has ran out,) are in fact; fat bastards.

Linked to this even if only tenuously, on another evening while leaving the same gym (in which I like to hone my physique to a rapier-like tip of fitness,) I witnessed a man trying to flag down the car in front of my own, since I like to live life close to edge I decided to stop thinking he was probably looking for directions to the doughnut shop. Instead of stabbing me to death, he explained his car had broken down and did I know where Hermiston Gait was because there was a Halfords there. I told him yes, I did know but I'll give you a lift* round because it'll be closing imminently. We got round to the Hermiston Gait roundabout and sure enough, the traffic was queued back blocking traffic coming off the city bypass, my passenger asked why it was so busy at this time of night in this seemingly random spot. I explained about the new doughnut outlet, he said 'NO WAY!' I said, 'WAY!' (I'm paraphrasing.) As we finally cleared the line of traffic he said, 'See? I knew it wasn't the doughnuts, there's a KFC there as well...'

I haven't visited the doughnut shop yet and if I'm being honest probably won't, some kind soul will no doubt bring a box into the office anyway where my Victorian sense of guilty restraint dictates that I wait until everyone goes home before snaffling one up.

* My random act of kindness for the day.





3 comments:

tris said...

Much better off in the gym than the ghastly KFC (you'd be as well drinking a cup of cooking fat)and as for people who spell Crispy and Cream with a K... pffff, no chance I'd buy anything from them.

My body too, is a temple.. a bit like one of the Cambodian Temples, overgrown and dilapidated!

pa_broon74 said...

These doughnuts must contain magic dust or something, people are going daft for them.

I can't be arsed queuing for a doughnut though.

tris said...

I would, but the only people you'd meet in the queue are fat, and that's not my kind of thing!!!