Wednesday, 14 May 2014

The Monarchy.

Well, not really, I'm just trying to draw people in. Its about the eBay auction mentioned in the previous (somewhat brief) article published here. If you're a hardcore indyref operative with no time for frivolity - I won't be hurt if you move on to more serious subject matter.

It goes without saying, there was significant interest. Bidding was ferocious, the price shot up initially then plateau'd while the lightweights got out leaving only the serious collectors - and is it any wonder?

I mean, just look at the quality...

Even in the most common setting, true class shines through.

We can agree I need say no more on the topic - the item possessed a transcendental quality mere plebs are blind to.

The auction was tricky; in order to do justice to an artifact of this calibre, one must pick ones words carefully, the easiest way to demonstrate is to just show you those words.

I think now you understand why the bidding war that occurred, ummm, occurred.

With a starting price of 1p - it rose swiftly to 20p - and before long crept up to an eye-watering 80p. At that point there was a pause as warring bidders figuratively sized each other up. After three days of psychological warfare, movement could be seen as wily international collectors made exploratory bids - treble figures were achieved swiftly and the 100 pence mark was breached.

After a frenetic week in which 21 bids were made between three hard core contenders - a newcomer appeared at the 11th hour with an offer that smashed all previous bids: the cup was won. Commiserations went to the bidders who fought honourably while the Imperial Grail went to the Johnny-come-lately solicitant.

And so to the business of exchange: the invoice.

£5.50 - a 'Princely' sum of money?

And the buyer's response.

What can I say other than a big thank you to Don who made my day with his humour & generosity - something I like to think exemplifies what we on the Yes side are trying make large for Scotland in this sometimes fetid debate. I mean to say 'Wings' has its crowd funding and that works for them - but we have Jumble!

I'd like to say our Scouts are impoverished but coming as they do from a rather middle class background - they're not. They are however to a one, great fun to be around and thoroughly decent young human beings. If I was allowed (and I'm not) to have them thank Don for his kind donation by way of a video message - I would.

Rightly though, the Scout Association is strictly non-political. Even although members need no longer swear allegiance to God or the Queen, it's fleeting involvement ended with the auction. (What all that actually means is, people got a bit concerned when I asked for volunteers for Mug Annihilation Duty. Probably rightly so if I'm being honest - no one wants to be targeted by the Daily Express or by Franklin Mint Black Ops - they deny it but they exist...)

We spent a fair bit of time mulling over the various methods by which Don's wishes as the new owner could be carried out. We had a great many ideas; some daft, some extremely daft and one in particular that was spectacularly tasteless involving tunnels in foreign capitals. We (meaning I) became a bit concerned that destroying an item of this nature could attract quite a lot of ire, possibly even legal proceedings (is it traitorous to destroy and effigy of a future monarch?)

With that in mind, I had no choice but to cancel the destruction of the mug and send it to Don.

Unfortunately on the way to the Post Office...

(My skills as a film maker, I think you will agree, know no beginning.)

It seems fate had the same idea as Don did.

But then, we didn't see the mug smashed did we...


Surely not...

No, don't be daft.


  1. An excellent solution to your quandary. Charges of treason are technically possible until such time as the putrid structure of corrupt aristocracy is overthrown.

    To a proud Jacobin, the "disappearing" of the offensive item is every bit as effective as the attentions of Mme. Guillotine (without the knitting).

    Vive la Revolution -

  2. Hi.

    I feel terrible, I left your mug on the roof of my car. Woe is me etc. (Wasn't it handy a professional documentary film crew was on hand to film it?)

    I should say, I did go back down the road to look for its remains alas, to no avail.

    Some bounder may have picked it up and kept it, or, it may - like the proverbial bad penny - still turn up.

    (So far Special Branch haven't visited, I'm hopeful for a clean getaway. Also, I'm hoping to be invited to the Cannes film festival on the back of this, the French know how to deal with royals...)

    Thanks again. ;)

  3. Dear Mr Pa Broon74,

    I am commanded by Her Majesty to inform you that it has been brought to the attention of Her Majesty that you did, with malice aforethought, wilfully destroy a utensil, to wit one drinking vessel with the image of Her Majesty’s beloved eldest son, His Royal Highness, the Duke of Rothsay, Etc Etc Ad Infinitum, marked upon it.

    Her Majesty commands me to inform you that her husband has been tempted on many occasions to do the same thing, and points out that His Royal Highness, having access to the real thing, rather than an image thereof, would have derived a good deal more satisfaction from the act than you did.

    It would have pleased Her Majesty, therefore, to offer you a seat in Her Majesty’s House of Lords, but as she understands that you are a separatist, she will await the outcome of that nice Mr Salmond’s referendum (much nicer than Cameron) before deciding which honour to offer to you.

    The Lord High Writer of the Queen’s Letters Regarding Charles of Rothsay and Organiser of Concerts for Jubilees, Tax deductable.

    Gary Barlow, OBE

    PS: You clumsy clod. Tris wanted that mug!

  4. Hello Gary.

    So happy you read my blog, many other A list celebs and tax dodgers also read it - people like Bono (did you know, every time he clicks his fingers a child dies? I mean that's one way to save money but I'd prefer it if he'd just pay his share, you too if I'm being honest. After all, 'it only takes a minute, ummm, girl'...)

    Anyway, the mug. Yes, bit of a to do there. I'm clumsy, what can I say.

    However, I should point out. So far no one witnessed its destruction and its still missing. So, like the villain in a cheap slasher movie; representations of their royal bumptiousness's could re-appear at any time.

    On a more serious note, such is the skill & quality of the documentary film above, its easy to understand why some people might believe the account there-in - although I'm definitely not saying it didn't happen that way.



  5. Ah, Mr Barlow!

    This gives me an idea -

    (Warning : may contain images of a distressing nature)

  6. I did wonder about opening that link at work.

    (I did anyway and so far no klaxons have sounded.)

    Its a handsome article, it would fit right in on my desk... Next to my Robbie Williams pen tidy...

  7. There is clearly an error in that sale price (for tax reasons).

    Obviously it should read £499, but we only pay tax on the £4.99.


    Gary OBE

    PS If any Queens want a special concert for their jubilees, I do a wonderful job for a reasonable tax free sum (paid to my IoM bank account), and one of your honours.

    I can get loads of hasbeens really cheap!

  8. Gary.

    Thanks for the kind offer of a concert, I'm not due a jubilee any time soon though.


  9. Gary O B E, if you don't mind.

    Suit yourself. You'll never get a better offer of hasbeens though...

    Let me know if you change your mind.

    Gary Barlow OBE
    The Big House
    British Virgin Islands

  10. Pa

    How could you sell such a priceless piece of history such as that mug, and the cup as well. Prince Charles, the man of decency, of honour, of bullying government. The man who gets more housing benefit than some social landlords, the man who can veto laws in our democracy, the man who cheated on his wife and had a campaign of sleaze against her. The Prince with 40 thousand medals who didn't actually fight in any war, he calls his mum mummy and will be king. How dare you sir.

    I am ashamed to call myself a blogger and that I did not think of it first.


  11. Hi Bruce.

    I felt since he was profiting from us we should do so from him for a change.

    Unfortunately (but not surprisingly) it didn't make anything like the amount Charles does from his various interests.

    As you can see, due to my forgetfulness, the likeness' of Charles & Di lay in pieces - much like their marriage - along a nondescript suburban street.

    Woe is me.



Thanks for comment as always and I apologise if you have to jump through any hoops to do so. Its just that, I'm still being spammed by organisations who are certain I can't get it up or when it is up its not big enough or that I don't have anyone to get it up for.

Who knew blogging could be so bad for ones self-confidence?