Thursday, 11 December 2014


Yup, brace yourselves people - INCOMING - the result of the (Scottish) Labour leadership race will be lobbed in to newsrooms on Saturday and you know its going to be a wall-to-wall festival of prolixity only staunch Labour activists can manufacture - reported verbatim by a willing Scottish press.

SNP staff running drills in anticipation of Saturday's announcement.
Before going on, I'd like to say welcome to readers who found this blog via Reddit Scotland (hi folks.) I started posting it there (or here, if you're there now) because I'm a shameless attention whore and I really wanted to get my readership into double figures. Opening up the blog to new viewers also opens it up to new criticism, I was going to say you'd be hard pushed to find anyone with a lower opinion of it than me, but some Reddit users have proven that to be untrue. 

While I do my best to be factually accurate, the rest is just my measly opinion which as you know is subjective. Feel free to comment, you can even try to change my mind if you like. However, if I stick to my guns; please understand that a) just as you are free to offer opposing views, I'm also free to rebut them, and b) I'm not literally sticking to some guns. 

I know most of you get this, but it turns out there are one or two readers who are now hiding under a table because they think there will actually be a 'Murphybomb'. Although no one can be sure what form such a thing would take and if curling up into a ball under a table would be a defence - its what they're doing. 

I know 99% of readers understand this but for the odd couple that don't, if I say something like:
"On behalf of Yes voters, the SNP, cybernats, people who burn copies of fudged reports, Scottish Greens, the SSP and everyone else on the Yes side..." 
I haven't actually spoken to all those people, its just a figure of speech used to underline a point - a point some might not agree with because it's also my opinion. In context, its supposed to be mildly humorous - even if you find it the most unfunny thing since European sailors delivered Herpes to the New World or British news anchors started using overblown Americanisms to describe normal weather conditions.

Saying its raining cats & dogs doesn't mean it really is.
Thanks to

I don't just write here, I've got a couple of short eTravelogues on Amazon and another one on the way. Those are written (hopefully) to inform and entertain, this blog on other hand is written to entertain and challenge. While its nice when people agree, sometimes its more useful if they do not - with that in mind; have at it/me if you think I'm talking shit. Equally; if I think your talking shit, I might mention it.

Which brings us back to the Labour leadership race. We've had a weatherbomb (otherwise known as weather in Scotland) and over the weekend we can expect blizzards of 'but-what-does-this-mean' and downpours of 'where-now-for-Scottish-Labour' which I'm hoping they'll label the Murphybomb. Prof John Curtice, the only known psephologist on this plain of existence will be on hand to offer wise words, although the campaign couldn't have taxed his abilities given it'll probably become the go-to example of a foregone conclusion in political text books.

The big question is, will anything change? Scottish Labour are in a difficult situation, pulled in opposite directions by the London party and Westminster politics on the one hand - and on the other by Scottish voters and their desire for something less London-orientated. Not that Labour offer anything left-leaning - I don't believe Scotland is a socialist country, I do think the referendum threw into sharp relief the inequality and unfairness which abounds in UK politics and it is what drives dissatisfaction with London parties today.

Until 'Scottish' Labour stop taking their own advice, it won't matter who is in charge - they'll end up on the sidelines with the Tories and Lib Dems. Its not all good news for the SNP either; nobody likes a smart arse and if they become the only choice for Scottish voters, those votes will start being given grudgingly - arguably the same way many No votes were cast.

Over the weekend Labour staffers will tell us Jim Murphy's leadership signals a fresh start, unfortunately they'll be the same time-served staffers who thought putting Murphy there in the first place was a good idea. I don't think the Scottish branch of Labour are quite there yet, but by electing Jim Murphy - a bought and paid for London politician - as leader, they will be taking the final steps toward being nothing more than a hard-core kernel of party activists and their faithful few in Scotland.

The deputy leadership winner will also be announced on Saturday. If Kezia Dugdale is successful, it'll enhance the Murphybomb with shrapnel in the form of incoherent buzzwords, impenetrable phraseology and batshit mental political discourse. Jim Murphy won't be able to attend FMQ's, it'll be Kezia's job to hold the Scottish Government to account. If she can't make it, they could place a food mixer where the Leader of the Opposition normally sits, throw in a hard copy of Labourhame and a management consultant's handbook then switch it on without the lid - it'll be like she's in the room.

Equally, Murphy might not win and all of the above (except the hello to Reddit Users and the raining cats & dogs picture which I quite like) will be rendered pointless.

And before any cheeky bugger says it - much like the rest of this blog.


  1. The BBC and London decided that he had won some time ago. (I expect they have some sort of Harry Potter magic powers granted by Ms Rowling.)

    So I expect the announcement to be made confirming this on Saturday accompanied by much rejoicing in some Labour circles, and a new start including learning lessons and listening and all the stuff they say every time and never do to any effect.

    Poor old Neil and Sarah... It was over before it began...

    As for the deputy. If they were looking for someone who's lack of charm wouldn't put Murphy to shame, then she was their man, or rather their woman.

    The two are perfectly matched.

    Enjoy, Nicola.

  2. Aye.

    I don't think Labour's fortunes in Scotland are going to pick up with that pair.

    Going to avoid the telly over the weekend I think. I have a hellish kid's party to set up so I'll be otherwise engaged.

    Thanks for reading.

  3. Paul

    First things first, you write an excellent blog, you write well and explain things very well with a very deft sense of humour which I envy in many ways.

    I write because I feel I have something to say, plus the encouragement from Tris really helped as I was not at all confident that anyone was interested in anything I would have to say about politics. It is also a way to get rid of the frustration that I feel about the state of this country and the apathy of the too many in the majority who don't care enough to do anything about it.

    Now Murphy, I am glad he won and got the majority of votes from the members. If that doesn't tell those who remain on the left of the party that it is now a dead party and just Conservative different colour then nothing will. Murphy I suspect will blow it, while he will get a lot of press initially, his inability to be at FMQs will really grate on him as he will be thinking he is the saviour of the northern branch. Add into that the useless bunch that will have to go up against a seasoned SNP cabinet each week and he will lose it slowly but surely.

    Bring it on I say.


  4. Thanks Bruce for the kind words, not sure my waffling is all that - as you say though, it can be a good soporific to assuage some of the bullshit we're all expected to swallow on a daily basis from those who are supposed to represent us.

    Like you, I also expect Murphy to implode and hopefully take Dugdale with him, like others on line - I have no idea why she's presented as some sort of bright spark when she's about as bright as a black out.

    Unfortunately I think a lot of nerves are going to be severely challenged over the coming weeks. Murphy is one of the most supercilious, arrogant, grasping politicians in Scotland today surpassing even the oily Jackie Baillie and the seemingly willfully daft Curran.

    Add in to that the Dugdale factor who thinks so little of the electorate, they'd buy ANY the shit she peddles - I think we might have the perfect storm brewing.


Thanks for comment as always and I apologise if you have to jump through any hoops to do so. Its just that, I'm still being spammed by organisations who are certain I can't get it up or when it is up its not big enough or that I don't have anyone to get it up for.

Who knew blogging could be so bad for ones self-confidence?