Monday, 1 December 2014

Pooling and Sharing Scottish Inventions

'Tis that time of year again, St Andrew's Day - time for British PM's to apologetically tell us how great Scotland is - but only within the UK - because otherwise it would be crap. Unfortunately this year's speech was much worse being as it was made by Arch-Tory David Cameron. You can read it here - although be aware, you'll need a hardy disposition because its a no-holds-barred boak-fest.

Before you consider looking at the clip below, you should know that it will trigger a natural reaction. Normally buried, the fight or flight instinct, pops up at times of extreme stress. Otherwise known as 'gut-instinct', one second you'll be sitting with an intact computer monitor or tablet - the next second it'll be on the floor in pieces. With knuckles bloodied and expensive tablets half-buried in walls, all because your hypothalamus liaised with your pituitary gland and adrenal medulla and decided to ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK.*

All of it will be because you watched this, isn't biology wonderful?

Firstly, I'd like to clear up an issue of nomenclature - which is a fantastic word that makes me sound a lot brighter than I actually am. In the same way a Labour voter differs from a Labour activist - a No voter also differs from a unionists. A unionist is to the UK constitution what a Labour activist is to Labour policy - even in the face of demonstrable fact, logic and common sense; their support is unconditional. On the other hand, a Labour voter might only do so because its what they've always done and a No voter might have done so because of duress deployed during the campaign.

Either way, its important because you'll never change (or understand) the mind of a Labour activist and rarely the mind of a unionist. I don't want to put people who may have done something grudgingly and with gritted teeth into the same category as those who did so with heedless abandon born of a mixture of willful ignorance and cockeyed logic.

A Scottish Labour activist works through some policy decisions.
Going back to Cameron's bilious speech. Its a good example of why the independence referendum was lost. Scottish cultural waypoints as outlined by Dishface really are how we're perceived within the Union, for years Scottish culture has been made cartoonish and sidelined for the beautific grace of British culture. During the referendum campaign, it went into overdrive. Take the Braveheart meme as an example, only unionists ever mentioned the film in serious debate. It was they who linked Mel Gibson's daft Brigadoonery to the Yes campaign, not nationalists. 

Meanwhile, British culture is about matters of great historical gravitas. It is a noble thing, scrubbed clean by nostalgia - all the thorns are removed and the results dressed up in robes of parliamentary pomp and royal heraldry. Cameron mentions Scottish discoveries in science and art but would never portray those achievements outside the confines (and they are confines) of the United Kingdom.

In the referendum campaign, the hopes and aspirations of the Yes campaign and those who may have become Yes voters but didn't, was usurped by a unionist interpretation of Scottish history - it was made small & doltish, fallacious & anachronous. To paraphrase a Pink Floyd song; we traded our heroes for ghosts, hot ashes for trees, hot air for a cool breeze and cold comfort for change.

When it came to social change, the Better Together campaign had very little to say beyond vacuous slogans about pooling & sharing resources and doing things they could have done years ago but didn't. Instead, they shouted down aspirations of social democracy and fairness with thinly veiled slurs about how incapable we would have be outside the protective embrace of the union - Cameron's speech is just an extension of that message.

Of course it goes without saying, if we ever talk about it, we're told its the chip on our shoulder speaking...

* Or if you're a No voter, to run away. (I'm joking of course.)


  1. Luckily I'm made of sterner stuff, and my tablet remains intact, though with great depressions where my hands were.
    Enjoyable post.


  2. Thanks for reading, always appreciated.


  3. Pa

    I read the speech but couldn't get the link for video but maybe not a bad thing.

    I just don't care what Cameron thinks or says anymore, or any of them for that matter. They are just not worth the time or effort most days, although some days we do have to make the effort to keep on top of things and aware of what those wankers are doing in our name.

    I do take a little comfort in the fact that they really were bricking it during the referedum and I always have a wee laugh that they think 55% is a clear and definative result and that YES must go away never to return. F them is my answer to that one.

    I agree with you that there are some unionists and Labour brainwashed that will never ever change their minds, thats fine. If they want to remain idiots for their whole lives who am I to stop them.

    Overall Scotland is a cash cow and a chance to act bigger than we are, the fact they believe the rest of the world actually gives a shit what good old Britain thinks says it all really. Delusions of grandeur but everyone to their own. We know they are full of it and the rest of the worlds gets a have a wee chuckle.

    Can't wait until Europe tells Cameron to F off and then lets see him cringe, does he have to balls to ruin the whole country to spite his face, I suspect he does but that might just be the thing that gets our independence. He is stupid enough with his right wing nutters to lose it all as Clinton would say.



  4. Thanks for commenting Bruce.

    Its standard stuff from Cameron, set out to keep the ruffians up north sweet, like you said though - as time goes by especially now, more and more people are seeing through the bullshit.

    I always hold back with English Tories, they are after all honest when put next to 'Scottish' Labour whose entire existence is a bare-faced lie. But Cameron is a first class throbber, I don't know why he even bothers any more with the subterfuge, like you said, we're a cash cow for bankrolling tory plans in England.

    I'd have a bit more respect for the daft twat if he didn't patronise us with the flim flam so much.

    You like shortbread Dave? Who gives a shit.

    (I wouldn't watch the speech, its bad enough having it in your head with Cameron's public school drawl.)


Thanks for comment as always and I apologise if you have to jump through any hoops to do so. Its just that, I'm still being spammed by organisations who are certain I can't get it up or when it is up its not big enough or that I don't have anyone to get it up for.

Who knew blogging could be so bad for ones self-confidence?